


a night’s interlude

by symmetricdnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:32:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symmetricdnp/pseuds/symmetricdnp
Summary: The tour is taking its toll on Phil, and he doesn’t want to admit it.





	a night’s interlude

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t have a specific date in mind, but this is intended to take place around halfway through (or earlier) in the UK tour. Thanks to [megiaolf](https://www.megiaolf.tumblr.com/) for beta reading!

“You know, stuffing ourselves on room service every night probably isn’t the most economically friendly way of unwinding,” Phil says around a mouthful of pasta.

Dan pauses, a chip halfway to his mouth. He’s sitting at a desk in the corner of their hotel room, while Phil’s sitting in bed watching TV. Both of them are enjoying plates piled high with food. Phil waits for Dan to laugh or joke back, but he just looks at Phil with an unreadable expression. He mentally replays what he said and cringes a little—he probably came off a bit harsher than he intended.

Phil’s been unusually irritable these past couple days, he can admit it. He’s actually surprised that Dan hasn’t asked him about it by now. It hasn’t been anything over the top, at least he doesn’t think so, and he’s positive he’s been careful enough that the crew hasn’t noticed anything. But Dan knows him much too well. He’s sure Dan’s noticed when Phil’s polite smiles have been a bit too tight, when the line between snarky banter and actual complaining has gotten blurred.

Dan also knows how to handle Phil’s moods. And now, he realizes that Dan’s silence over the past few days might have been intentional. A large majority of the “dealing with a grumpy Phil” gameplan involves Dan giving him space for awhile. A day, sometimes even more.

Which, of course, is the one thing they can’t do.

Normally, guilt would start swirling in Phil’s gut. He hates when he acts out enough for Dan to worry. But right now, it irritates him that Dan’s walking on eggshells with him, that he’s watching what he says, that he’s probably thinking Phil’s being a petulant child—

“Calm yourself, mate. I’m gonna go ahead and say that we can afford it.”

Or maybe he’s not being that careful. Phil looks down, embarrassed, and picks at his food with his fork. He can’t think of anything to say, and the rest of the meal carries on in silence. 

They finish around the same time. Phil’s considering apologizing, though he’s not even sure if Dan’s actually mad or if Phil misread his tone. Before he can spare it any more thought, Dan’s yawning exaggeratedly. He looks up to see Dan sauntering over towards the bed.

“You know, we’re just gonna be driving for most of the day tomorrow,” Dan says conversationally.

“What?” Phil asks.

“And like, it’s late, but not super late. And I’m surprisingly not exhausted like I’ve been after all the other shows.”

Phil has a good idea where Dan’s going with this. “Dan…” 

Dan huffs and flops down on the bed. “Don’t get mad at me, I know you have more complex emotions than what your dick wants, that’s not what I’m saying. But. You’ve been snappy lately, and we haven’t had any sort of sex in probably like, a month now. And you’re usually all relaxed and nice after. So, y’know, if you’re looking for a pick-me-up...”

Phil blinks at him. “Are you offering to have sex with me to make me feel better?”

“I mean, that’s what I’m hoping it sounds like.” He scoots over so he’s sitting right next to Phil, invading his bubble like it’s nothing. “I’ve mostly just been horny and looking for an opportunity to bring it up, but you’ve been in one of your infamous Phil moods.”

Phil refrains from asking what a Phil mood is. He keeps his head towards the TV but glances over to Dan. “A month? Has it actually been that long?”

“I think there might’ve been like, one round of morning half-asleep wanking, but yeah.” He leans up against Phil’s side. “Uh, not that I keep track like some weirdo. I just remember ‘cause of that one time after rehearsals when we tried but were both fucking exhausted, and it hasn’t happened since.”

“Huh.”

It really is surprising. They have nowhere near the drive that they used to, but a month is unusual even then. Phil can’t remember why it’s been so long, why they didn’t at least do something when they’ve had days back at the flat. 

Though he does know that he underestimated how much this tour would take out of him. It’s not that he forgot what TATINOF was like, or was naive enough to think the grueling schedule they set wouldn’t be stressful. He just had more faith in himself, maybe. 

Faith that he could handle the car sickness without lashing out at Dan. Faith that the rush of elation after every show would be enough to balance out how terrified he is in the dressing rooms beforehand. Faith that he would’ve gotten used to the twisting feeling in his gut every time one of them posts a particularly exciting Instagram story and he knows there’s thousands of people out there reacting to it.

He’s not _not_ dealing with it all, necessarily, but it’s hard. And it’s meant that even on days that they’ve had off, Phil’s wanted to crawl into a bed in a dark room and forget the world for as long as he can.

Maybe he should’ve talked to Dan about it by now. He’s not supposed to keep these sorts of things bottled up anymore. He knows much too well that keeping things from him hurts Dan more than not saying anything. And not hurting Dan is what it’s always been about, anyway. That, and coming to accept that it’s okay to be weak in front of him, it’s okay for Dan to look to Phil for answers and for Phil to just say _I don’t know_.

“So. Are we gonna fuck tonight or should I go have a lonely shower wank?”

Phil nearly chokes on his breath of air. “Dan! I was thinking, here.”

“Thinking? What, our sex schedule’s got you reflecting on your life choices?”

Phil bites his lip. He should tell Dan. It’s only fair that he knows why Phil’s been distant and irritable lately.

Phil turns off the TV and finally shifts over to properly face him. “Dan. How… have you been lately? With like. Everything?”

Dan seems to look Phil over with consideration. “Is this what’s been up with you? Tour shit?”

Phil rushes to defend himself, though he doesn’t understand why. But before he can say anything, Dan continues.

“Cause I’m kind of already terrified, actually.” Phil’s eyes widen. “I like accountability—you know I do, remember how I used to ask you to check on if I got shit done? But like, this is… fuck. If I have a bad day, or feel like it’s all too much, then tough shit. We can’t just cancel everything. And I knew that, obviously, but actually living it… it’s a lot more than I remember.”

A part of Phil feels like breathing a sigh of relief. He finally knows that it’s not just him, this is finally out in the open. A larger part seizes up and sours, because Dan’s been suffering too. And not only has Phil been ignoring that, he also doesn’t know what to tell him, because Dan’s completely right.

“I… don’t have an answer for that,” Phil forces out after what feels like a moment too long. He feels his face burn in frustration. At his inability to offer a solution when Dan’s right there needing one, at his inability to control his own emotions.

But Dan just looks at him and laughs. Slightly sharp, slightly incredulous, slightly fond. “I know. I’m not asking for one. I’m just telling you, that’s how I’ve been feeling. You asked, you know?” 

Dan shifts closer, presses a light kiss to the edge of Phil’s jaw, and Phil shivers.

“I don’t know if you relate to it,” Dan says, pulling back enough to look Phil in the eye. “And you don’t need to tell me what’s been going on with you, I’m getting the impression that you don’t want to. But in case you do, open invitation here—how are you, Phil?”

There’s a million ways Phil can assure Dan that he’s fine, a million ways he can make a joke, a million ways to break the heavy atmosphere. But instead, he barrels right through and chokes out a simple, “Bad.”

Dan runs his hand through the back of Phil’s hair. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

“Okay. That’s fine, you know. But do you know why you’re feeling bad?”

At that, Phil has to laugh a little, because Dan’s breaking out the voice he uses when he’s trying something out from therapy. “Um, tour. People. Performing. Getting carsick like, every day.”

“A little less detailed than my response, but okay.” Dan stills his hand, kneads at the back of Phil’s neck for a moment. “I don’t have an answer either, by the way. I don’t think there is one.”

“Yeah,” Phil says quietly.

And they just stay like that for a moment. Phil half-expects Dan to break out some sort of sagely life advice, but he doesn’t.

“Sorry I was trying to get sex,” Dan finally says. “I should’ve asked you about this sooner. Let’s take a shower? I’ll wash your hair, rub your shoulders? We can properly relax in bed together.”

“No,” Phil blurts out. “I mean. Yes, but, I… want. I want you.”

Phil feels particularly exposed, even though he didn’t actually say much, not really. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle a quiet night of Dan taking care of him. At least if they’re touching each other, he could take some of the attention off himself.

Also, it’s been a month. _A month_.

Dan smiles, slow and warm, and pulls back. He stretches wide with his arms over his head, then looks back over to Phil.

“By the way, sometimes I forget how emotionally constipated you are.”

Phil’s jaw drops in indignation. “I am not!”

Suddenly Dan’s slinging an arm around Phil’s shoulders, pulling him in close and locking him in.

“Yes, you are,” Dan grits out. “I finally got you to talk and admit that, gee, you’re stressed from this giant fucking tour we’re doing. And it was like pulling bloody fucking teeth, I’ll tell you that much. You probably didn’t even register all my efforts these past few days, did you?”

“No...?” Phil offers as innocently as he can.

Phil blinks and Dan’s yanking him down onto the bed with him. Phil has no idea what he’s planning, but he knows to yelp and try to break free. He goes for the vulnerable part of Dan’s ribs, and he grins in triumph as it makes Dan release him from the headlock. That’s before he realizes in horror that all he did was give Dan an idea. Then Dan’s pressing him down with his weight and a hand grabbing his wrists, snaking the other up Phil’s shirt to go for his sides, and Phil regrets every possible decision that led up to this torment.

Except, at some point Dan releases his grip on Phil’s wrists, and he could probably break free. But he feels light and airy and both of them are laughing, and he strangely feels like this is one of those moments he’s going to look back on once the tour is over and smile so hard he’ll feel like he’s bursting with it.

“Jesus—jesus fucking Christ, Dan,” Phil gets out between leftover giggles once Dan’s decided to take mercy on him. “This is not how you treat someone you want to have sex with.”

“Isn’t it? I’m pretty sure you’re still gonna give it to me good.” Phil can tell Dan’s going for a sarcastic drawl, but he’s smiling so wide that the effect is sort of dampened. “You just love me that much, it’s kind of embarrassing.” 

“Get off,” Phil huffs. Dan flops over easily now, laughing even as Phil gets up.

They do take a shower, Dan does wash Phil’s hair, and he does, in fact, rub Phil’s shoulders. But at some point Dan crowds him up against the wall and nips at the lobe of Phil’s ear, and the heat that had been lightly prickling at the back of Phil’s neck flares up and washes over him.

“How do you want me?” Dan murmurs into the side of Phil’s neck. “I’ll give it to you however, just tell me what you want.”

“I… I don’t know,” Phil says, rather unsexily. But Dan grinds his hips forwards and he’s definitely a little more than soft, so he must not care.

There’s no way Phil can choose, after a month of nothing and an offer of Dan’s anything. There’s too many possibilities. Dan bouncing on Phil’s cock and working himself up to that deep scarlet flush while Phil just sits back and watches. Dan taking his cock down deep and messy, in that way Phil can never imitate. Dan licking him open until Phil begs for more, making him come all over himself with nothing but his fingers. 

Phil’s imagination keeps going, providing increasingly complicated and unrealistic scenarios, until he feels Dan’s laugh against his throat. “Don’t get too excited. Getting off by grinding on my leg in the shower feels kind of like a waste at this point.”

Phil looks down and realizes he’s got his cock pressed right up against Dan’s thigh, and he’s fully hard. He groans. “A month goes by and I revert back to my twenties, apparently.”

“Oi, you’re only thirty-one. Your twenties are hardly a long lost memory.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Phil says. “Just… remember how we were, at first? God, back at my Manchester flat I was always afraid a neighbor would mention something. Why did we not care about how damn loud you were?”

Phil can feel Dan’s cock thickening against his hip. “If you want to have a wank thinking about all the good sex we used to have, that’s fine, but I’d kind of like to focus on having good sex right _now_.”

They make their way out of the shower eventually. Phil has to stop for a drink of water, and by the time they make it to the bed, things are significantly less heated. They start kissing and realize they forgot to brush their teeth, and Dan insists Phil should be able to handle his garlic breath if he loves him. Phil forces them up and back to the bathroom. 

This time when they make their way to the bed, Dan remembers to grab the little travel-sized lube from their bag. Maybe the interruption was a good thing. A very good thing, because before Phil knows it he’s on his back, staring up at the unfamiliar light beige ceiling, as Dan swirls his tongue around the head of Phil’s cock and presses a slicked-up finger into him.

“You said you wanted to blow me,” Phil says, voice high and tight. He pulls his knees up higher, spreads them wider.

Dan brings his mouth off and Phil curses himself for giving Dan any reason to do so. “I am definitely going to blow you. But it’s also been a fucking long time since I got my fingers in you.”

It really has, even before this strange tour dry spell started, and the realization makes excitement flutter in Phil’s stomach. Dan sinks back down and starts to bob slowly. He presses a second finger in, and Phil prepares for the slight discomfort that comes with the intrusion. But Dan chooses this moment to take Phil’s cock down to the base and suck hard, suddenly and without warning, and the burst of pleasure has Phil squeezing his eyes shut and arching his back.

“There,” Phil breathes once Dan’s found a good angle with his fingers. He’s just starting to settle into it, ready to lay back and let Dan bring him off. 

Then Dan stops thrusting his fingers, and Phil almost complains, but—Dan shifts a little, braces himself slightly. He angles his hand further up, so he’s pressing harder against that spot inside Phil, and starts rubbing with harsh, fast movements. Phil doesn’t even react for a moment, doesn’t even make a sound, before it hits him and he’s crying out and instinctively trying to twist his hips away. That instinct only lasts a moment before he’s grabbing handfuls of the stark white duvet and instead pushing back against Dan’s hand.

“That’s… a lot,” Phil huffs with a laugh once he regains control of his vocal chords.

Dan pulls his mouth off, again, and Phil kind of wants to whine. “Bad?”

“No. Not bad, I don’t think, just… more,” Phil grunts out. He doesn’t know why he says it, because he doesn’t know how Dan could possibly give him any more than this. 

Except then Dan’s taking Phil’s cock down again, and—oh, that’s something, that’s more. Phil doesn’t know what to do except lie there and take it, frozen in the face of the blazing heat coursing through his body.

“I hope you realize I can’t handle this for more than, like, a minute,” Phil somehow manages to say.

“It’s okay,” Dan says when he pulls up to kiss the tip. He smiles reassuringly. “I’ll stop if you get too close.”

Phil wants to say that sounds like torture, actually, but then Dan’s back to working his cock and all that comes out is a strangled moan. True to his word, he pulls off with an only slightly infuriating smirk once Phil can’t contain the shaking in his thighs. Phil hates that Dan knows his tells so perfectly.

But Dan’s still moving his fingers, still rubbing in tight, relentless circles. And Phil gets what he’s going for. He’s never been able to come completely untouched like Dan has, so Dan probably thinks all he has to do is get his mouth off of him and Phil will be fine. 

It’s a good plan, Phil would applaud his creativity, but—something’s off, tonight. Something feels a little different, a little sharper. He doesn’t know if it’s the merciless way Dan is massaging that spot inside him, or if it’s simply the fact that Phil hasn’t felt anything like this in well over a month. Either way, Phil mourns the loss of that wet heat from Dan’s mouth, but he doesn’t start coming down.

Goosebumps rise on Phil’s forearms, and he hits the point that the pleasure plateaus. Or it should, from past experience. But it keeps building, and that familiar weight starts blossoming in his lower stomach, and suddenly Phil’s little fantasy about coming from Dan’s fingers doesn’t seem so far-fetched. 

“Wait,” he gasps sharply.

Dan stills. “What’s wrong? Does it hurt?”

“No, I’m just—fuck, I’m literally about to—”

He feels his cock jerk up. He bites the inside of his cheek, clutches at the duvet, sucks in quick breaths, anything he can do to stop himself from hurdling off the edge. He almost thinks he’s going to spill over anyway, just from the knowledge that Dan’s fingers are there inside him, just from the embarrassment of being so out of control and knowing Dan’s watching him in confusion, or maybe even amusement—

But he doesn’t, thankfully. He’s not sure how much time it takes to reel himself back in, but he doesn’t come, he doesn’t make a spectacle of himself that Dan probably would’ve teased him about later. He throws an arm over his eyes.

“I’m, uh, close,” Phil finally croaks out. “I’m close.”

“Fucking hell.” Dan’s voice is low and wrecked and it makes Phil peek out at him. “Why did you stop me?”

“I… I don’t know. It was my first reaction.” 

Dan’s eyes are wide and the splattered flush on his cheeks has spread down to his neck. He bites his lip and shifts up slightly. Phil gets a look at his cock for the first time, flushed a neglected deep red, tip glistening with precome. He feels a pang of guilt at how he’s been monopolizing all the attention, even as the sight makes his own cock throb. 

“I wanted to ride you, but I don’t think—I don’t think I could last,” Dan says.

Phil grins at him wryly. “That makes two of us, if you didn’t notice.”

“I just… I just really want to make you come. Can I make you come?”

In lieu of answering Phil simply bucks up and mutters something that could resemble a _please_. Dan smiles and presses a soft kiss to the jut of Phil’s hip.

“Fuck my mouth,” he mumbles before sinking down.

So Phil does. He doesn’t know how well he actually manages to, as Dan keeps him trapped between his fingers and his mouth and Phil doesn’t have much room to move. But Dan’s moaning, so he must doing something for him. 

He thinks he can hear the sound of Dan wanking himself with his free hand, or maybe he’s thrusting down onto the mattress. It’s hard to tell, between the filthy noises of Dan’s mouth, the bed shifting and creaking, and Phil’s own hiccuping whimpers. Even if he’s wrong, just imagining Dan getting off on this too has the knot in Phil’s stomach tightening violently. It’s all he can do to gasp out Dan’s name before he’s coming.

Phil writhes helplessly as it tears through him. Even considering the month-long wait, it’s intense, much more intense than Phil’s used to. He’s tingling all the way down to the soles of his feet, and it probably doesn’t help that Dan’s pulled out his fingers but is still sucking softly at the head of his cock. Once Phil recognizes it, he pushes Dan off with a slightly humiliating sobbing noise. He rolls over to get away from the stimulation even though he ends up grinding out the aftershocks on the mattress.

He lies there, face full of detergent-reeking hotel sheets, and kind of never wants to move again.

But now he can definitely hear Dan getting himself off, and though Phil’s pretty sure he’s drained of his very life essence, there’s no way in hell he’s not touching Dan in some way after all this.

“No,” Phil groans and rolls back around. He somehow, miraculously, forces his boneless body up and surges over to kiss him. He loses his balance and ends up sort of tackling Dan down.

Dan falls with an oof. “What the fuck?”

“Sorry,” Phil says, face smooshed up against Dan’s chest. He sits back up and smiles. “I want to do it.”

Dan raises an eyebrow. “I’m like, literally right there, but go ahead I guess.”

Phil scoots back a little and pulls Dan forward until Dan’s hips are right in his lap. He doesn’t bother with any teasing or pretense—he gets a hand on him and starts stroking, fast and tight. Dan’s cock is already slick enough that Phil doesn’t ask for more lube, and Dan always likes it a little dry, anyway. Dan whines into it, high-pitched and needy, and Phil’s struck with how much more vocal Dan is.

His face is scrunched up and his legs are stretched out taut, trembling slightly. He wasn’t lying about being close. Phil shifts, leans over a little, so he can reach up with his free hand to Dan’s mouth and trace his lips.

“Suck,” Phil says, pressing two fingers against the seam of his mouth, surprising himself with the deepness of his voice.

Dan doesn’t even hesitate before he’s taking Phil’s fingers in and doing just that. Phil regrets not watching Dan more closely earlier—the tight ring of his lips stretched across Phil’s fingers is nearly obscene. Phil doesn’t move them, just lets Dan swirl his tongue and do as he pleases, because this is for Dan, anyway. The thought makes him stifle a laugh. Dan glares up at him, but doesn’t stop.

“Sorry, just. Remembering,” Phil says. “It took me so long to realize you like having your mouth full when you come. I just thought you'd bite stuff to smother your noises, but that wasn't it, right?”

Phil’s still giggling a little when Dan makes a muffled, pained noise and starts bucking his hips up wildly. He locks his legs around Phil’s waist and bites down on his fingers. Phil would complain, but he realizes that Dan’s coming, hot and shaky and wet between their bodies. 

They both stay there for a moment, suspended in time. Then Dan releases Phil’s fingers with a pop and scoots away from Phil’s lap, chest heaving. 

“Why in the everloving fuck did we wait this long to do that,” Dan slurs out.

Phil grunts and doesn’t even attempt to shape it into a word. He grabs for tissues from the side table and wipes both of them off haphazardly, feeling exhaustion quickly approaching. He lies down next to Dan and burrows under the covers.

“From now on we’re fucking… every night,” Dan says. “Remind me. If I ever forget, just remind me, we need to fuck every night.”

He hears the shuffling of Dan getting under the covers with him, and the bed dips as he moves closer. He opens his eyes to see Dan smiling at him softly, and Phil’s not sure he can handle that right now. He prods Dan’s side until he rolls over. Phil scoots closer and slots up right against his back. 

Phil doesn’t want to think, doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to possibly be taken out of the bubble of this moment. He doesn’t imagine the long car ride tomorrow. He doesn’t dread how tired they’re going to be in the morning. He doesn’t do anything except wrap his arm tighter around Dan’s waist.

Though it seems Dan has other plans. “Okay?” he mumbles.

And Phil doesn’t quite know how to respond to that. He’s satiated bone-deep, and it feels nice to have finally talked about this, even as he still feels strangely embarrassed. But he knows that a round of good sex and a heart-to-heart isn’t enough to actually solve the problems. There’s still going to be last-minute issues at the venues, he’s still going to have to be cheerful and professional when he has a splitting headache, the overwhelming scale of it all is still going to lurk in the back of his mind.

But that’s not what Dan asked about, exactly. And as Phil ponders it, he realizes—yes. He is okay. Dan can’t magically solve all the issues, but at some point, he managed to unravel the tightly knotted bundle of frustration Phil had found himself in.

“Yeah,” Phil says. He wonders if Dan can hear the smile in his voice. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Mm.” It’s not an answer, but Phil supposes it doesn’t need to be. “We’re gonna be fine.”

It could be a meaningless platitude, but it drains the remaining tension Phil was holding in his shoulders anyway. He doesn’t respond. But he shifts a little closer, nuzzles his head against the back of Dan’s neck, and hopes Dan gets it.

He feels vulnerable, in that way he used to think was exclusive to the afterglow of sex. But he also feels it when he wakes up late and Dan’s already up, scrolling through something on his phone next to him. He feels it when he apologizes for being snappy and Dan just rolls his eyes and smiles. He feels it when he’s cooking and Dan wraps himself around him from behind, warm and inviting and safe. 

He feels it on nights like tonight, when he admits something that a small, strange part of him expects Dan to scold him for, but Dan just listens and tells him it’s okay.

Of course he does. Dan loves him. Phil knows that, has known it for years, and he doesn’t get surprised by it. But he does get reminded, sometimes.

Phil could say something, he could thank him, he could tell him he loves him. But as Dan hums and rubs his heel against Phil’s leg, he’s pretty sure Dan already knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated. You can reblog on tumblr [here](http://www.symmetricdnp.tumblr.com/post/174694544634/) if you want.


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